Friendships

I’ve been thinking recently about friendships. Specifically, how they evolve throughout our lives. A strange topic for a blog post, perhaps? But possibly relevant to small businesses and sole traders.

Some of my longest term friendships are with people I’ve known for over 40 years, since first starting school. The initial connection was that we started school together. As we came to know one and other better, we found similar interests in and out of the school environment. None of us live geographically close though. Spread around the world, we keep in touch electronically, or through special occasion cards.

Other friends are people I’ve met comparatively recently. One of my closest friends (although alas, not geographically close), is someone I met almost twenty years ago when working in central government in London. They started out as a colleague and are now a good friend. I appreciate having someone who’s in touch weekly, even if we don’t meet in person very often. Not having known each other at school, I’d say we certainly ‘get’ one and other as adults, and have lived through various life events together. Even if only via telephone or email.

Friend is a term which is used quite loosely in some forums. You can ‘unfriend’ people on social media platforms, when really, you’re just disconnecting from someone. You were perhaps never really friends to unfriend, maybe acquaintances is a more accurate term. I tend to think of a friend as being someone who knows a bit about me, my family, and my personal circumstances, including work and hobbies. Somebody who feels comfortable in my company, and vice versa. Someone I can have a coffee with and pick up conversation from where we left off, however long ago that was.

As a sole trader, making friends through work is difficult. I meet lovely clients, interact with other traders in BSS House – where my studio is, and have made connections through business events, often those arranged by Total Guide. But making new friends takes time. Perhaps as we get older, we become more set in our own circles. My own friendship group is eclectic, to say the least. But it’s merely a ripple across other groups.

Who do you turn to for business advice, or to try ideas out on? I’m fortunate to have a supportive husband and family. Again, family don’t live geographically close, my sisters and I left the nest to go to university and then went where there was work, in my case moving several times with the civil service.

There is of course plenty of advice online, but that doesn’t quite match catching up and talking to somebody in person. Somebody who is on your side, who believes in you … and you are the same to them. You could finish one and other’s sentences, but you don’t. Instead, you listen to each other. You are present, in the moment, giving your full attention. No rush, just the wonderful warmth of good company, and understanding.

Not all friendships last. People come into our lives, and many slip away again as situations change. Working by myself, I appreciate the friends who’ve stuck around. With no work colleagues with whom to share conversation, and perhaps socialise with, being a sole trader can be quite isolating. So this post is for you, my friends. Near or far, old or new, thank you. Here’s to our enduring friendship, and may we meet for a catch up very soon.